Completely Serious

okay, this blog is inspired by complete seriousness. I'm not going in anyway try to make this funny, but that has been sort of my ranting I've been doing lately. This blog is for complete seriousness in any way shape or form. Sorry if it bores you but that's not my problem. This is a speech that I wrote awhile back and I think the very concept of everything I wrote in it then is very much emerging into society today.
Human kind is the most interesting when it boils right down to "good and evil." The fact of the matter is, we created our essence from our existence, not the other way around. That's the philosophy of Existentialism. The words "Through the act of free self creation, we have made the values of mankind or the essence of the way we live" pretty much sums it up. We have set our own standards to what is "evil" and what is "good." Our standard of evil is the basics, selfishness, greed, cruelness and violence, etc. All of that is of what we know about our history in war and our world that we live in. B y our own standards, who is not evil? We have wars, we are people of greed, selfishness, violence and worse. We may choose to overcome some of the standards preset by our selves, giving ourselves exceptions and whatnot, but in my view, we are nothing but afraid of our own hypocritical selves. Some people choose a more "supposed" better way of life, even if we are breaking the code we ourselves have written.
I think the choice of our "good over evil" commitment can start with the frame of mind pertaining to bad guy v.s. good guy. The happy little moral character that defeats the bad guy in his horrific plots of evil. The bad guy trying to kill everything and overcome the good with his evil. The good within isn't true in my standpoint, just a mere illusion. I think, since we were evolved from a species that just cared to survive and had no intension of right or wrong we hold that same potential too. It's not choice it's instinct. Instinct to leave others and run at danger, instinct to selfishly care for yourself, it's not something that we decidedly choose, it's a gut reaction that we can choose to ignore. The good really rests near the surface as the "evil" resides deeper to the darker cavities in a recessed part of our minds that we know as subconsciousness.
Needless to say, I chose the bad guy. His depraved and twisted frame of mind was far more enthralling to my imagination that a figure of heroic benevolence. The psychology of the bad and ability to embrace the dark and shy from the good is so different that without it, a superhero would be nothing without their sinister counterpart.
I think it's interesting how we try to cover up our nature even though it isn't set in stone or preordained. Nevertheless, prerecorded history of our ancestors that we take oh so careless and file away, making the same mistakes. To say that we all don't have a spark of evil is a lie. It's funny how we turn or shy away at even a sliver of insinuation of bad, or evil, when tis us who inflict the madness.
I don't mean that I am not a good person, but I lay on a layer of our own standard of good, fooling myself into thinking I am not a child of a world weaved by greed and molded by iniquity. I do know that there is evil in everyone, but I am also saying that we are not completely evil, but also not completely good. What makes us good is how good of a show we put on. Such a good show that we fall for it ourselves. We are easily deceived, predominately by ourselves, thinking that we are decent by hiding the monster we all carry.
Hope that depressing knowledge bomb made you think. Good day.

RandomRandomRandom (dreaminess) and strange picture that I found randomly funny.

I think the most effective way to deteriorate any mind set or thinking for that matter is lack of sleep. I haven't been able to sleep in correctly, well, on a school week. Per night I can't sleep until it's like midnight or later, and when I do it's terrible. Then I catch up on that sleep on the weekends, staying up late and waking up late. Then the cycle repeats. This is why we need summer. I love summer. It's not cold in the summer. I hate the cold. Then I was just thinking I don't like school and almost wrote "I hate the school." then that sounded harsh like "the school must die" equivalency and that is just terrible. So I think I'll just change it to "I dislike the school at times." that sounds nicer. This is also what sleep deficiency does to you. Makes you think weird thoughts and dream weird dreams. Such as I had a dream that I was in the Empire State building. When we got to the top it was mounds of dirt acres and acres full. It was compact but steep so there was railing to hold on to. My dad was pushing little kids on swings in a grassy park that looks similar to the one in my town and I had to collect stuffed animals for a "master." It was odd. Then there was this other reoccurring dream of me having a 12 acre pool that went two miles into the ground and a giant alligator escaped in there and my besty and I had to kill it with a harpoon gun. Odd dreams are odd to have, but interesting to think about. Dreams themselves are weird. Like when you're in the dream the dream is an equivalent to scientific fact. It's like, " Oh yes, of course I'm on a train in the sky with my talking bear by my side to fight ninja pirates from space. That's never happened to you?" then as you awaken you realize it was strange and once you're in school, if you remember it then it's more like, "WTF?" I have made up my own system of currency and it made perfect sense but when I woke up I couldn't have figured it out even if the dream was played back to me. Did you know that without dreams we would go insane with madness and possibly go insane faster than if we were in Bedlam itself? It apparently resolves certain worries and problems for the time being and it helps our brain relax. Quite odd, no? Sorry, this blog was quite boring but I like to talk about random stuff. Hence the name. That's all for now and remember: Dreams are dreams and they aren't reality and just because bears are friendly in your head, doesn't mean they won't eat you in real life.
BTB: doesn't Orthodoxy sound like a made up word? There's Christian, and Catholicism etc. but then the people who made the "isms" ran out and was like, "I'm Eastern Orthodox---y. That works, keep that." Sorry, just a BTB=by the by.

AH!

Mystery solved. I found it. If you are confused, look so conviently to my right and you will see and little thing that says PAGES. Click it and read that before you continue and it will make much more sense. *waiting and twittling thumbs until return of reader and humming umm, something.* You Back? Alright MOVING FORWARD! See about the pages I was confused. After I finished typing it I published it and got lost. It took me a minute and I thought all my other blogs were deleted because it only showed the page-y um, thing, and was about to curse the page to the deepest pits of Tartarus, (much nicer than saying H E double HOCKEY STICKS, well I guess not depending on the point of view but I don't think Greek mythology is practiced much here... unless you take the Percy Jackson books as a gospel, but even that would be weird. Plus two why would a Greek person be reading it, doesn't add up. Sorry anyway) then I saw blogs so I clicked it and BOOM! back to blogs. But then I was confused because I didn't know where the page was, then I saw the pages so hmmm, interesting. It's like my blogs' blog. I guess. I dunno, its like a blog inside of a blog to intentially subdue ADD thoughts, such as this. But isn't that what a blog is for? Sorry WOW, I'm on my train of thought during free fall. But of course why would a train be falling? Well, duh if it fell off the track but why would a hypothetical train fall if I control it myself. Besides, if the train were in free fall it would hit the ground and kill my thoughts. Then I'd be brain dead. But hypothetical God me inside my head wouldn't let me die because I wouldn't. I'd just put it back on the track, then I'd be thinking normally. Even if the so called "train of thought" were going psycho, it'd still be a preset track that would be thought out, even if the mind wanders. So rather than a delusional and random train of thought, it is thoughtout and not so random because its on a preset track and therefore can't be random. Otherwise you'll save your mind from going braindead instead of letting your thoughts die in freefall. Wait, now I'M confused. So I guess I would call it my random sidewalk? no sidewalks are thought out too. Hmm, my desert of thought? That works but it sounds stupid. I'll think of something. Hmmm, my boat of thought. That would work if I were in the ocean. Cause a lake is too limited. To narrow. In an ocean I could drive in any direction and possibly get eaten. By a ginormous shark I mean. But that holds the same principle as the free fall thing I guess. I wouldn't let it happen. And if I'm thinking of all this, then why would I let a shark eat me on the first place? Okay, I'm driving in my boat across the waters of thought that can be so completely random. If I get bored, then I'll get eaten by a whale, cause apparently you can live in them since Pinocchio(not sure on the spelling) Gepetto (I think he got eaten) and Jonah all got eaten. Sidebar: I forgot why a man and puppet got eaten by a whale in the first place. Or was Pinocchio (see that looks like Pin-Oh-Chee-Oh, I'm not sure it's right.) a real boy then. Please answer in the comments someone. Anyway, oh I almost forgot what I was talking about, I had to read the prior thing. Oh, yes. I'll get eaten by my hypothetical whale, live through a new adventure, get spiten up, then evolve to a mermaid and live there. Then I'll remember that I was in a boat, de-evolve from mermaid to human, get in my boat and drive again. That is much better than my losing train of thought because it's more realistic. In a sense. Oh get off, you know what I mean. But that would be SOOO much longer than "I lost my train of thought" it'd be "Oh dear me, sorry I fell out of my hypothetical boat into my oceans of thought, got swallowed by my hypothetical whale, met Pinocchio, then oh heavens, got spit up like yesterdays oatmeal, decided to evolve into a mermaid, then remembered to come to the surface and I got in my boat again, I'm sorry can you tell me what I have forgotten to say?" I might wake up in Bedlam. For those who don't know that, it's crazy town, funny farm etc. Oh my god what is wrong with me? I think I am the poster child for ADD right now. My God it just kept coming out. what was I even talking about before. Blogs' blog, got it. Sorry. Just read that page when it comes up and it'll be about random stuff. Now excuse me so I can go take some NyQuill and a Ritalin and go to sleep.

Hello 2011!

Alright, this will be a short blog considering that I'm at school as an aide right now and they need stuff run every other five minutes. Well, sometimes its more but today is a long day and I'm needed more often (which is good otherwise I'm bored and talking to a computer) (such as this). ANYWAY, my parental and sister(al) units are complaining that my blogs are too, well, complaining. They think I look far too dark at the world and I need a little cheery cherry happy pappy crap. So, without further ado, I'll be happy more often. (not all the time but this is just to sedate their whining)
Don't worry, I won't be talking about kitties and puppies and rainbows. Ugh, no. Wouldn't that be annoying to read? "puppies are adorable because their made with love and rainbow essence! Oh JOY!" yeeeaah, no. I'd rather not.
frankly, I am a happy person, believe it or not. Yes, I dress in black and yes I listen to well, not happy music but that doesn't make me a non happy person. You know what? In this blog I'll strictly use what a blog is made for: just talking. Now, I'm just going to go no a stream of consciousness here, pusha! to the rest. (it's pronounces puh-shah in case you were wondering)
I think high school is over stressful. I mean, I think the teachers collaborate together to make the students life difficult. I wouldn't even surprised if they kept fake mustaches to laugh and twirl like an evil pompous french guy. mwahahaha. It's like my chemistry class SUCKS! after we get away from the completely necessary topic of dipolar molecules, then we move onto Empirical Formula. Honestly, when will I have to know that the empirical formula of a chemical compound is the simplest whole number ratio of atoms of each element present in a compound? If you can think an instance other than being a chemist, let me know. You know what else is annoying. Red squigglies. (red squigglies says the readers in question.) Yes, the readers that I am imagining. (whenever I'm writing I think about the people who would read this and what their immediate thought was. It's not the weirdest thing. When I was little I convinced myself that an invisible person used to follow me around. don't ask. ANYWAY...) The stupid red squiggle that you get under a word when the computer thinks you spelled it wrong. Of course you can't see it know but oh, there are seven no, eight squigglies under words now. Now it's nine because the computer doesn't register the word "squigglies" it recognizes squiggle and squiggly but squigglies? no, that's one step too far in nonsense for this computer. it like "oh, yes the word squiggle is fine. Yes yes, the squiggly, of course I see it. But don't you dare pluralize it dammit!" If you didn't understand, that was the computer talking. Just in case. And for some odd reason I made the computer have a voice in between Patrick Warburton (for those of you who don't know who that is, it's Kronk for Kuzco's New Groove. Ah, little kid movies solve the mysteries of everything, but that's for another blog) and the voice that you would always imagine for God. Deep and booming, you know? Wouldn't it be weird if inanimate things actually talked like that? Like a tiny pencil sharpener was just like, "I AM HUNGRY!" and it's just one of those wimpy hand sharpeners that nobody wants to use next to those gigantic electric ones. Wow, that was a little ADD thought. Anyway, I also think that the automatic Google questions are interesting. I mean is the top hit for writing Why is there say WHY IS THERE A DEAD PAKISTANI ON MY COUCH? I mean, out of the bajillion people who look everything up on Google, the most frequently asked question is about a dead foreigner on a sofa. I didn't realize it was that much of a frequent reoccurance. I'm up to fourteen squigglies now. Fifteen.
Have you ever forgot to spell something really simple that shouldn't require an ounce of thought to begin with? like just now I was like "How do I spell fourteen?" It was like fort-- no. forttee-- no that's not right. maybe I should spell four first. four-- oh yes, okay! fourteen got it! It's like, ah, momentary lapse in memory, or common knowledge. I think the most pathetic was the word: was. when I was around 12, 13 I actually first had a phone and the first rule to me about texting: you have to use abbreviations. Yes, yes I was a pathetic abbreviator. So constantly instead of using the dreading "as" I used "uz" in was. To prove the point that text abbreviations deteriorate the already crumbling English (american version) language, I momentarily forgot how to spell was. It was a low point in my spelling life, I must say.
Wow, that wasn't a quick blog at all. In between running passes and boxes and stapling things, this blog came out to be longer than I though it would be. Hmm, and more ADD than my last blogs. It wasn't super happy, but it wasn't totally, well, like I usually have it. Oh, well. I'll probably finish typing this then think, Oh! I should've said this! But I'll probably have more blogs like this in the 2011 year. So yep. That's all for now and remember: let loose the thoughts that have been building and if you have a dog with squirrel relationship with the world, that's ADD or ADHD and there are things to help with that. :) happy new year 2011.