When Reality Hits You

Hey, I haven't blogged in forever, I know. Busy days of last days of school are wrecking to the social life. The freedoms of summer are to enjoyable to just sit and stay on a computer. The reason I have returned to the blogging world today is one of not so great news. A friend of mine has died today and I wanted to wish him a mermorial onto my blog to prove to the world he won't be forgotten. He was a good friend and fun to hang around with. So here goes.

I say farewell to a life lived too short,
One made of laughter, sarcasm and a snarky retort.
A fate so small, it is a crime,
Of someone who made people laugh, one joke at a time.
Cocky and funny, he knew where his pride stood,
And he'd go on to better things, just as he would.
His departure has left everyone shocked and sad,
As we realize he didn't know his importance to the friends he had.
We celebrate a lost life who has seen all of what life has to give,
But grieve the one that had so much left to live.
I've seen him happy, angry and I've watched him huff and sigh,
And yet, I never thought I'd have to say goodbye.
Now he ascends to the unknown,
Unaware of the mark he has shown.
When we all know that his memory will not fade,
I wish he could see the impact he has made.

We'll miss you, Colter.

Research Papers and Creepers

Hello world, tis me. Obviously. Nevermind. I am in English and I'm supposed to be doing a research paper that is stupid and lame and completely unnecessary. If you want to find a topic don't make high schoolers look for it and research the thing yourself dammit! Sorry, I get quite upset with my English teacher for being a FACE and making us research stupid things. I have to research the death penalty. There is NO answer to it because it is such a controversial subject that nobody can agree on AND we have to only have facts and it's a problem when most of the facts are opinions. It's really dumb and my teacher is a stupid face who makes us do these stupid things. Grrr, sorry. This subjects make me angry because it's so lame. You know what else is dumb? Christopher Columbus. He is a moron that stumbled upon land, displaced the natives who he thought were from INDIA because he thought he was in INDIA and stole their riches. STOP GLORIFYING HIM....sorry. unrelated
As my besty, Ash-stro is writing, old creepers are wierdos. Just creepers. If you want to read old people go to http://ash-stro.blogspot.com. I'm going to talk about creepers. Their beady eyes follow you across the room, inhaling your innocent young scent as you sweep by, wafting it all over their drooling anxious face as they stare at you with ravenous greedy eyes, anticipating your next move, watching...waiting.... until you are alone you are safe from their grubby greasy fingers, ready to grasp you at anytime and slink away into the shadows. Wow. THAT was creepy. Ew, people are crazy. I believe I've established this before. Am I creeper for knowing all of that. I guess I just have a creeper mind without being a creeper itself. Maybe. I don't know. I just find people as crazy and there is no way getting around the fact. People enjoy inhaling and enjoying the fresh scent of perfume on a scarf that belongs to the smallish easily snatchable child from across the room, unexpected to be stalked by the man in plaid, with the pencil thin mustache, clear aviators and crazy sunken-in black eyes that stalk the innocent from across the room in the dark shadows. Then we have the creepers that are openly creepy, the wolf whistling, far too old middle aged combed over fat people that lean in a bit to close when they are looking at something you're looking at. Those who talk to you about scary things that they know way too much about with awkward eye contact that lasts too long to be normal. This, my dear friends, is the average substitute teacher these days. School is the feeding ground for as called creepers and pedophiles, so I warn you, be warned and be afraid, because creepers are..... well, creepy to say the least. That's all for now and remember: Researching is lame and stay out of the shadow, a strange man may be looking for you and NEVER take candy from strangers, even if it is the new Starbursts that are the really really good kind without the gross tropical crap. STRANGER DANGER!!! (Be warned)

LASH!....

My best friend and I had to do an assignment in my History class where we had to have a town that was being raided and change the government type. We chose dictator, and not only that but an evil dictator. It went from there and here is the story.


In a small isolated mountain town, people have rallied behind two girls as their dictators. They soon took advantage and took power as the evil leaders of Brongville! One day they found magical rings and they put it on. They loved the rings. One day they were walking together and both got struck by lightning through the rings and were fused together from the neck with four arms and four legs, two heads and double the evil! From then they became LASH! They had the power to un-fuse and fuse together through the rings.
The town was a little scared when LASH began building a giant castle and taking the towns money for themselves. LASH had power of everything light touched (and more)! They had the power to control ligthning when fused together. When some imbecile would be yelling at them, the lightning would strike him, leaving nothing but his shadow and shoes, thus the reason lightning follows them. People began to hide...but they knew they could not escape LASH. Those who spoke against them would get various degrees of punishment, varying bamboo splints under the fingernails, feeding LArry, the crocodile in their moat, lightning, the dungeon and people becoming servants.
The town was in ruins because everyone fought just to stay hidden, but every town within 100,000 miles was afraid of them. But no one can hide from the Mechanical Hound! Wait, wrong story. I mean the Bounty-Hunting Squirrels, BS for short. The whole town was eventually locked in the castle dungeon for eternity on the crime of treason! Or in Larry's stomach.....mwahahaha. And yet, LASH felt that this wasn't enough power, so they went national! They made an army of clone Larrys. >:D
First, they made their own country to rule from that was located in the middle of the ocean called LASHtopia. There they safely made billions of Larry Clones, all connected to their psychic powers! They sent the Larry's into the world to take over! MWAHAHAHA...*hack hack* HAHA!
They personally went up and knocked on Mr. Squinty Latino Face's door and ate his face off! But when the Larry clones ate his face it tasted so bad that they puked it back up and yelled, "Put that in your history book!" (inside joke.) Only few were spared and LASH began to control the world! The new world...their world... would be know forever as LASHTURN! *DAH DAH DAHN DAAAAHN!*
LASHTURN was the best planet ever! But still... very evil...
But nobody spoke against LASH. Lash was great and powerful and got rid of the weird people and pollution and disease! Lashturn was feared in the glalaxy and Lash couldn't let their reign die so they made fifty thousand sleeping clones of themselves who woke after the last one died.
Lash decided to stay feared so so they had to do something epic!
So they blew up Jupiter!
The Juptitonians were devastated and they knew Lash was very dangerous. So they grouped together with Martians, Daleks, Sontarons and the Nightmare Child, the terrible creature from Gallefrey, to take down LASH. LASH got an inside tip from a double agent Larry. They went to see a doctor and got tons of weapons fused together. Then they joined together with others and it became an intergalactic war! After many bloody years, LASHTURN was destroyed along with all the clones and LASH her-herself. The galaxy was at peace again but nobody ever forgot the story or fear of LASH!

Habitual Lying is.......Easy

You know, the more we lie the better we get good at it. Granted, me and ashstro were great liars to begin with but now we are expert bluffers. Excellent liars can also spot the lies. Takes one to know one, you know? The lies we spin build and build and yet, despite popular belief, more often than not we don't get caught. If it's something like, "Honey have you been cheating on me?" "No, or course not Karen." "My name's SUSAN!" sort of thing, then you're an idiot and not a very good liar. But when the girl you hate comes up to you and tells you "OMG, you're my best friend!" and you say "OMG, your mine too!" That right there is a lie among the idiots. Okay, first of all I should break it down to my categories. "Bad liar," "Lies among the Idiots," "Bad lies" and "Good lies." A good lie starts with something that is true. If you have a basic idea of something that really happened and just make up believable details pertaining to it, then you won't get caught. Bad liar is a good lie that is given by a crappy liar. They twitch, the glance around, they fidget, they make no eye contact, and they hesitate between questions. If you want to lie right, get your story down first then give the lie, keep your face passive and sincere, and make eye contact, but not too much that gives you away. Now, the Lies among the Idiots, that is the ones we deal with everyday. The people who are "close" to you but you really hate are the idiots and you are a good liar. You say the right things to the right people and keep the juicy hate filled disgust tipped gossip from the wrong people. These people have it in their minds that you have no reason to lie to them, therefore they take in the lie and accept it. Unless you are a skeptic of everything, such as mwa. I love some of my friends to death but their lies are so painfully obvious it is almost sad. I lie to my parents and teachers for my own gain and call me a sinner and a wrongdoer, but I don't give a, excuse my french, damn. The world runs on lies and the people won't stop lying. It's become less of a sin and more of a fact of life. Mine are nothing more than just white lies that amounts to nothing except for a few moments of personal gain, nothing more. So remember: If you're going to lie, do it right and telling the police something they can know for a fact isn't the best move, i.e. "I didn't rob a bank!" You had no mask and there are security cameras. Good luck in the world, bud.

Talking To Yourself and Being "Drunk!"

Today in my blog, I am, of course, not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Right now, I'm supposed to be looking up stuff about the death penalty and yadda yadda but instead I'm blogging. Of course. What I will start with and probably forget about half way through the blog is that it annoys me when people talk to themselves. Sometimes it's normal like when people usually are looking for something they mutter nonsense but when you have entire conversations and telling yourself things it's SO annoying. When I'm in aide, there's this other guy in the Futures Room usually. well, he is annoying to share a room with because all he does is play games, play his music far too loud, make the computer say things and freaking talking to himself. It's like today he was like, "blah blah blah, that's all done. Okay, now I'm going to go to the bathroom cause I really have to g." It's like, that's great guy, I totally wanted to know that. Then if I actually say something to him, he would be like "Oh, I was talking to myself." Then DON"T it just confuses everyone around you. Different thing: I am a sloppy drunk. Was I really drunk? No, I wasn't. I was wearing drunk glasses and had to run through an obstacle course. I'm pretty sure I was on the outside of the course, I hit a ton of cones and I fell twice. It failed. My sisters boyfriend bounced off of the wall and plowed into another guy and t'was.... HILARIOUS. It also kinda looked liked it hurt, but hey, that's more amusing than comics. It's would also suck to be in Europe on Fourth of July. Walk around and be like, "Hey guys! Today my country became independent and your country SUCKED!" haha to you! You'd probably get shot, or whatever they do over there. It's actually probably different, or the same. Either or, never mind. You know what I want to do? I want to dress up in a mining outfit, hide in the sewer, come up out of the sewer grate, look around for a few minutes then go back down. I think that would confuse people. my point exactly! Okay, I'm done! Next blog I will have an interesting story for you about me and my besty becoming a fused together dictator and taking over lands it'll be epic and remember: don't talk to yourself, it's annoying, and the next time somebody asks you, "Who are you talking to?" reply, my invisible rhino named Larry, then walk away.

Just Stop....Please.

I have changed the entirety of the blog. Why? BECAUSE I CAN! I think mi madre es getting angry with my response "because I can" it's a valid response and has no right to be shoved aside like it's an idiotic answer cause it's not. Why else would I do something totally and completely unrelated, unnecessary and possible detrimental to myself and or others other than the fact that I could? I don't find that that isn't a valid response. "Why did you just jump on the couch and jump through the window then run down the hill like a possessed lawn mower?" "Because I can..." see? did you see that? Simple, eloquent and just enough mystery to leave them thinking while you slink away in the shadows. Wait, what? Never mind, that's irrelevant. Why would you---? Never mind. That just sort of came from my screaming recessed subconscious and into my fingers. Heck, I was picturing that, but not in words. Then I was just thinking about slinking away soundlessly into the shadows and somebody being like, "Look over there!" Then as the opposing person looks the first person just backs up nonchalantly into the shadows right before the other guy and the other guy is like, "What are you doing?" Then the person in the shadows is like, "Hit and miss, never mind, let's go get pizza" and they walk away......well, that was long and rather monologue..ish. I do that too much. I come up with a scenerio and monologue the ENTIRE thing and about a fourth of the way through people stop listening but even though I notice, I keep on going. Because that's just an embarrassing situation because one guy starts monologuing and the others stop listening and when the first guy stops then the other people feel the need to laugh to break the awkward silence that fills in the gap of the "you weren't really listening"' stare, as put on by the monologuer. Wow, that was another one. Never mind, and remember, just cause nobody's paying attention it doesn't mean that you can't entertain yourself and there is a line where the joke needs to stop because it's being stretched out FAR too much. (Ashstro and I dance and skip on that line...incessantly... :D)

ummm.... just read it.

This is the story that I mentioned in my prior blog. Enjoy.
This is a story starting with a young boy named Hans Jomamma. Everyone just called him Jomamma. Jomamma is currently a Nazi. He frequently wore, hem hem, you know what constricting lederhosen decorated with sheep, kangaroos and swastikas. He is Dr. Mengele's prodige! But he was a bit like a cannibal because he would eat the eyes and left earlobes of the deceased, he left the body for the alive ones cause it's more fresh.
He didn't tell anyone about this secret because he was ashamed. It was a habit that drove him to eating his parents and friends. He did weird things with peoples fingernails...he kept all of them in a jar.
Then, in the middle of the night, he would lock his door, pull out his jar and pour all of the fingernails all over himself. He rolled in this for hours in happy oblivion, getting a sick satisfaction with the pieces of the people he killed. One night, he forgot to lock his door and Dr. Mengele walked into the scene of Jomamma rolling in small sharp things. Revealed as fingernails at close examination, Dr. Mengele was...relieved.
"I thought I was the only one!" he exclaimed in excitement. He took his jar of toenails out of his bag and starting pouring them everywhere and dancing in them. Both Hans and Mengele were dancing when Smitler Hadolf, Hitlers retarded cousin, walked in.
He wasn't amused. He sent both men into the concentration camps for 3 days as punishment. Without anyones prying eyes, Smilter bean to consume the toenails on the floor.
Mengele and Jomamma came up with a master plan to keep them sane enough. So they began offing the weak people in the camp. They had no jars so they kept the nails under their beds. One day a huge man came in from a tip that they were hiding something. He tore apart their whole barrack. Last he tore up the blankets and found the thousands of nails. He puked. he grabbed both Mengele and Jomamma and was taking them to either the gas chamber or the incinerator! Jomamma wasn't worried because the chamber guards would recognize Mengele and him. He was sweating bullets because the mans large meaty hand was sitting on his shoulder, tempting him like a large juicy steak. He had the almost undeniable urge to eat the mans had in one chomp.
He couldn't take it anymore! He turned fast and chomped down on the mans hand before the man could even flinch. Mengele shrieked with laughter and satisfaction and attacked the man with Jomamma. He bit a large portion of the mans thick neck.
They began to eat him alive! Some other prisoners tentatively walked up wanting a bite but Mengele and Jomamma growled viscously at them so they stayed back.
The man was gone in the matter of minutes. This began a killing spree. Jomamma and Mengele began to hide on the roofs of the barracks and pounced on helpless prey. This gave the prisoners ideas.
The prisoners whom got these ideas dug holes under barracks and when unsuspecting prey would walk up the prisoners would grab their ankles and drag them into the death pit.
Men ate men, men ate women, women ate children, children ate children, children ate babies. It was mass chaos of cannibalism. To stop the prisoners eating each other and them, the guards ate them and got mad-human disease. The guards, being able to leave, headed toward the closest town.
Thus beginning the reign......of Nazi zombies.
THE END....?
Yeah, I'll just let that soak in....

This Started with Nothing and Ended with Zombies..?

I cannot think of anything to talk about. Usually, when I go into typing, I have multiple ideas running through my head, and when I type I get something awesome--r to talk about. But now I am just typing the first sentences that pop into my head. You know, it's really weird if you think about it. The whole just popping into my head thing. We can see pictures without our eyes, we can hear voices, but not use our ears and we can talk without saying anything. It's all just noise inside our head. Like right now, and this may sound a bit odd, but I see Donnie Darko, (Jake Gyllenhaal) right now but I'm intently staring at my computer screen as I "speak." Then before I type the word, naturally I have to think about it so I hear the sentences (in a slow deep voice) in my head before I type it. It's really strange because I always think things at people to see if they can hear it. I mean, yes that sounds ridiculous but still, it's WEIRD is it not? I'm like "turn around, turn around. Hey you! turn around..." and if they do it's like coincidence? ... maybe, okay fine, more than likely.... or was it? Sorry, I sort of went in a weird direction there. Talk about weird directions, me and ash-stro (http://ash-stro.blogspot.com) and we were writing what seemed like an innocent story about a boy, then he turned into a Nazi who was Dr. Mengele's prodigee had a weird obsession with fingernails, then it went psycho because they began to eat people and then everyone was eating everyone and they all got mad cow disease which began the reign of Nazi Zombies. It went weird. Then I drew a Nazi Zombie, inspired by the story and I figured out that I'm not too shabby at drawing zombies because my friend asked me to draw him a zombie spiderman. It's pretty BA. Now I'm going to draw him a zombie hulk. (Obsession with super heros and the Justice League? Quite so.. he was wearing a superman shirt and has a Green Lantern obsession.) Sorry, now I'm just blabbing about things that don't matter AT ALL! That's all for now I guess and remember, drawing zombies is actually quite entertaining and if you start eating people, you'll probably not turn into a zombie....maybe. I dunno, maybe if you eat enough people, I guess it depends. Nobody's tried it yet so you never know....yet.

Oops, maybe we should've thought it out better...

I think teachers get some sick satisfaction out of pointing EVERYTHING done wrong on one student. Who cares that they got an answer wrong, who cares that they cheated on a test? It's not like they have never fell to the urge to just take that slight peek over at the answers. Because they needed the answers? Maybe. Because they wanted to check an unsure problem? Probably. Because it was right there, the forbidden never to do thing that has always tainted the classrooms of high schools all throughout history? Could happen. In any case that urge to see what is forbidden to see, the answers as provided by your peers. It's whether you act on that impulse or not makes it so. So what? There are tons of people who wish to pass a class that they don't wish to learn. And so what that they don't want to learn it? A useless class full of teenagers who will never use the material again are what we would call dead energy, being that they aren't willing to learn because they aren't wanting to learn. Granted, it would be easier to just learn the damn subject rather than cheat to pass, but nevertheless, can anything less be expected, honestly? The answer is no, probably not. Back to the original argument, teachers are full of hypocrisy. As well as misunderstanding and under-minding us students. Is it obvious that throughout the course of a lessons that students aren't listening and/or paying attention. Absolutely. It shows in the work. Is it obvious that they crammed it all in their brains the night before the test and not only learned it for not one but four people? You can bet on it. So, how can they think of us as dead energized idiots who learned a whole 3 weeks of lessons in one night AND found a way to get it across to other people, ingeniously I must say, (One copied the test inconspicuously, passed the info to the next person and one wrote the work and answers two at a time on a notecard and nonchalantly passed it to the other table, it was pretty good,) not only not being seen but in desperate attempt not to get caught at it? Of course we'll all get caught sooner or later what with similar tests and the same wrong answers, but still, you have to appreciate the effort. It doesn't reflect on you as a person. That isn't all who you are. That is a bunch of crap. All it reflects is a bunch of goofing off teenagers in desperate attempt to salvage a score that will let them pass the class. Sure, Mr. Face, we might not care about one test score later in life, but we do care about the grade in the class. Believe it or not, that grade may or may not determine whether we graduate or not. So who cares if we cheated on a test for something that we'll never use or care to remember. Just be happy that we made a sorry but determined attempt to try, even if it wasn't honest. I was planning on teaching them on how to do it afterwards anyway Mr. You're Not Reading This But I'm Still Talking To You In A Hypothetical Way. Sorry that we disappointed you in not "achieving a moral integrity," but this is the best you can get from stressed out teens in a stressed out school from stressed filled tons of schoolwork. Believe it or not, but we may have a life outside of school that we want to live. If you're like Ms. GoodyTwoShoes that I know, you can dedicate your ENTIRE life to school, but before I have to surrender my soul to work, I'd like to live first. I think high school may be the most important four years of your life, but I think it's more experience and less the knowledge that nobody will remember that makes the impact. That's all for now and remember, sooner or later someone's going to catch you cheating and if your do cheat, fudge the answers a little to make it harder to spot.

P.S. to those of you who wouldn't care (I wouldn't care) there's a black fish in my pets. FIND HIM AND WHEN YOU DO..... feed him please :) IRRELEVANCE: Did you know that when you look at something pleasing your pupils dilate 45%?

I think I'm insane...

I love randomness. And not being on task. I think that is what truly makes us not go insane from the pressure of parents, school and the schoolwork itself. Again I sit here next to ash-stro my besty and we are supposed to be looking up something about the Black Plague. Instead? We are sitting here writing our blogs, hers about a funny picture she found on the internet about a My Little Rainbow Pony that looks like Edward Scissor Hands. Now, being psychos most would be like "That's a child toy!" But over here in the Nutter Factory of our life, we found it funny. That's not the only thing. We play Nazi zombies, and by ash-stro's enlightenment, when you get a headshot and blood and brains goes EVERYWHERE, it's oddly satisfying. And I agree, something about killing things and slaughtering every "living" thing in sight (virtually of course) has a sense of satisfaction that real life cannot bring. Granted I can barely knife the zombies without dying but hey, I don't have all access to a gaming system other than a wii. I think it'd be more fun (and way scarier) if it were virtual reality and it looked real. Yeesh, now I sound like a serial killer in the making. Don't be alarmed, but honestly, me and my buddy more than likely have that insane desire and potential to be, not physically but mentally. Now I sound like I'm promoting it. Just look it from my perspective. Me and my besty have strange thoughts that other people will not and never will understand. We have all the mind set makings to be a crazy person, but would rather pursue different career paths. Our insanity can only be expressed by bursts of random craziness that has been repressed throughout the days we fight to be "normal" and weekend nights where we stay up into the wee hours of the night discussing our evil and sadistic thoughts and "plans." Now you think I'm crazy. Oh well, good thing only few of you know my identity. That's all for now and remember, just cause you have crazy thoughts it doesn't make you a serial killer and if you do take that career path, please avoid where I live, cause I'd rather go out with a bang.

I hate technology (not really but a lot of the time I get quite angry with it)

Hello there friends! Today I'm just going to blab. I'm in a stupid class SUPPOSEDLY doing a stupid essay. I choose the alternative: screwing around. Tis much fun, don't you agree? Anyway, I am sitting next to my besty and she's typing her blog as well. You know what is annoying? When people who should be MATURE isn't. We watch movies in my Sophomore Health class and I hear people(one in particular) who will not stop laughing! It's like shut up and grow up. It gets ridiculous. Or the fact that people decided to make something that could be oh so simple and turn it into a big complicated mess. Computers is the biggest problem I face right now. Don't get me wrong, I would be failing without them and they have helped a heck of a lot during my lifetime, but they always make them so damn complicated! It's like the people who made them said, "Hmm, should we use the same programs that can do the SAME exact things and get along with different types of computers without running into annoyingly difficult situations?" and then the makers are like bursting out in gales of whooping laughter and saying, "Pfft, you mean simplicity and easy to use. Haha, yeah freaking right!" It's like, I had to do a movie project for my Spanish class and I used one of the libraries camera's. I didn't have time during advisory to actually work on it at school because we were discussing ACT things and ect so I figured that I could get it done at home. WRONGO! I ended on my computer for an hour trying to import and export the Quicktime files from the camera onto the Windows Movie Maker program and get it edited and exported and it would be all happy days. It didn't go that way. I tried and tried and tried until the end of god damn time then al it said simply in a stupid little pop up thing, "Windows does not support this file" and disappeared. I thought I've come close to punching the crap out of a computer before but then, oh then, I felt the need to shoot with a shotgun then take the rest outside, throwing it in the never ending snow, beat it with a baseball bat and kicking it. I think my mom would get mad though, so I resisted the urge and mentally beat the living crap out of it. Even though it neither lives nor craps. Nevermind. But it's like much of the world cannot afford anymore complication. Most of the world is, I'm sorry to say, an idiot. It seems as though the world gets smart, but the people get dumb. That's all for now and remember: Get things that are in your range of knowledge so you don't get frustrated and if you throw your computer out the window, you have to pay for a computer and a window, then that would just blow. G'day mate. (don't ask...)

Completely Serious

okay, this blog is inspired by complete seriousness. I'm not going in anyway try to make this funny, but that has been sort of my ranting I've been doing lately. This blog is for complete seriousness in any way shape or form. Sorry if it bores you but that's not my problem. This is a speech that I wrote awhile back and I think the very concept of everything I wrote in it then is very much emerging into society today.
Human kind is the most interesting when it boils right down to "good and evil." The fact of the matter is, we created our essence from our existence, not the other way around. That's the philosophy of Existentialism. The words "Through the act of free self creation, we have made the values of mankind or the essence of the way we live" pretty much sums it up. We have set our own standards to what is "evil" and what is "good." Our standard of evil is the basics, selfishness, greed, cruelness and violence, etc. All of that is of what we know about our history in war and our world that we live in. B y our own standards, who is not evil? We have wars, we are people of greed, selfishness, violence and worse. We may choose to overcome some of the standards preset by our selves, giving ourselves exceptions and whatnot, but in my view, we are nothing but afraid of our own hypocritical selves. Some people choose a more "supposed" better way of life, even if we are breaking the code we ourselves have written.
I think the choice of our "good over evil" commitment can start with the frame of mind pertaining to bad guy v.s. good guy. The happy little moral character that defeats the bad guy in his horrific plots of evil. The bad guy trying to kill everything and overcome the good with his evil. The good within isn't true in my standpoint, just a mere illusion. I think, since we were evolved from a species that just cared to survive and had no intension of right or wrong we hold that same potential too. It's not choice it's instinct. Instinct to leave others and run at danger, instinct to selfishly care for yourself, it's not something that we decidedly choose, it's a gut reaction that we can choose to ignore. The good really rests near the surface as the "evil" resides deeper to the darker cavities in a recessed part of our minds that we know as subconsciousness.
Needless to say, I chose the bad guy. His depraved and twisted frame of mind was far more enthralling to my imagination that a figure of heroic benevolence. The psychology of the bad and ability to embrace the dark and shy from the good is so different that without it, a superhero would be nothing without their sinister counterpart.
I think it's interesting how we try to cover up our nature even though it isn't set in stone or preordained. Nevertheless, prerecorded history of our ancestors that we take oh so careless and file away, making the same mistakes. To say that we all don't have a spark of evil is a lie. It's funny how we turn or shy away at even a sliver of insinuation of bad, or evil, when tis us who inflict the madness.
I don't mean that I am not a good person, but I lay on a layer of our own standard of good, fooling myself into thinking I am not a child of a world weaved by greed and molded by iniquity. I do know that there is evil in everyone, but I am also saying that we are not completely evil, but also not completely good. What makes us good is how good of a show we put on. Such a good show that we fall for it ourselves. We are easily deceived, predominately by ourselves, thinking that we are decent by hiding the monster we all carry.
Hope that depressing knowledge bomb made you think. Good day.

RandomRandomRandom (dreaminess) and strange picture that I found randomly funny.

I think the most effective way to deteriorate any mind set or thinking for that matter is lack of sleep. I haven't been able to sleep in correctly, well, on a school week. Per night I can't sleep until it's like midnight or later, and when I do it's terrible. Then I catch up on that sleep on the weekends, staying up late and waking up late. Then the cycle repeats. This is why we need summer. I love summer. It's not cold in the summer. I hate the cold. Then I was just thinking I don't like school and almost wrote "I hate the school." then that sounded harsh like "the school must die" equivalency and that is just terrible. So I think I'll just change it to "I dislike the school at times." that sounds nicer. This is also what sleep deficiency does to you. Makes you think weird thoughts and dream weird dreams. Such as I had a dream that I was in the Empire State building. When we got to the top it was mounds of dirt acres and acres full. It was compact but steep so there was railing to hold on to. My dad was pushing little kids on swings in a grassy park that looks similar to the one in my town and I had to collect stuffed animals for a "master." It was odd. Then there was this other reoccurring dream of me having a 12 acre pool that went two miles into the ground and a giant alligator escaped in there and my besty and I had to kill it with a harpoon gun. Odd dreams are odd to have, but interesting to think about. Dreams themselves are weird. Like when you're in the dream the dream is an equivalent to scientific fact. It's like, " Oh yes, of course I'm on a train in the sky with my talking bear by my side to fight ninja pirates from space. That's never happened to you?" then as you awaken you realize it was strange and once you're in school, if you remember it then it's more like, "WTF?" I have made up my own system of currency and it made perfect sense but when I woke up I couldn't have figured it out even if the dream was played back to me. Did you know that without dreams we would go insane with madness and possibly go insane faster than if we were in Bedlam itself? It apparently resolves certain worries and problems for the time being and it helps our brain relax. Quite odd, no? Sorry, this blog was quite boring but I like to talk about random stuff. Hence the name. That's all for now and remember: Dreams are dreams and they aren't reality and just because bears are friendly in your head, doesn't mean they won't eat you in real life.
BTB: doesn't Orthodoxy sound like a made up word? There's Christian, and Catholicism etc. but then the people who made the "isms" ran out and was like, "I'm Eastern Orthodox---y. That works, keep that." Sorry, just a BTB=by the by.

AH!

Mystery solved. I found it. If you are confused, look so conviently to my right and you will see and little thing that says PAGES. Click it and read that before you continue and it will make much more sense. *waiting and twittling thumbs until return of reader and humming umm, something.* You Back? Alright MOVING FORWARD! See about the pages I was confused. After I finished typing it I published it and got lost. It took me a minute and I thought all my other blogs were deleted because it only showed the page-y um, thing, and was about to curse the page to the deepest pits of Tartarus, (much nicer than saying H E double HOCKEY STICKS, well I guess not depending on the point of view but I don't think Greek mythology is practiced much here... unless you take the Percy Jackson books as a gospel, but even that would be weird. Plus two why would a Greek person be reading it, doesn't add up. Sorry anyway) then I saw blogs so I clicked it and BOOM! back to blogs. But then I was confused because I didn't know where the page was, then I saw the pages so hmmm, interesting. It's like my blogs' blog. I guess. I dunno, its like a blog inside of a blog to intentially subdue ADD thoughts, such as this. But isn't that what a blog is for? Sorry WOW, I'm on my train of thought during free fall. But of course why would a train be falling? Well, duh if it fell off the track but why would a hypothetical train fall if I control it myself. Besides, if the train were in free fall it would hit the ground and kill my thoughts. Then I'd be brain dead. But hypothetical God me inside my head wouldn't let me die because I wouldn't. I'd just put it back on the track, then I'd be thinking normally. Even if the so called "train of thought" were going psycho, it'd still be a preset track that would be thought out, even if the mind wanders. So rather than a delusional and random train of thought, it is thoughtout and not so random because its on a preset track and therefore can't be random. Otherwise you'll save your mind from going braindead instead of letting your thoughts die in freefall. Wait, now I'M confused. So I guess I would call it my random sidewalk? no sidewalks are thought out too. Hmm, my desert of thought? That works but it sounds stupid. I'll think of something. Hmmm, my boat of thought. That would work if I were in the ocean. Cause a lake is too limited. To narrow. In an ocean I could drive in any direction and possibly get eaten. By a ginormous shark I mean. But that holds the same principle as the free fall thing I guess. I wouldn't let it happen. And if I'm thinking of all this, then why would I let a shark eat me on the first place? Okay, I'm driving in my boat across the waters of thought that can be so completely random. If I get bored, then I'll get eaten by a whale, cause apparently you can live in them since Pinocchio(not sure on the spelling) Gepetto (I think he got eaten) and Jonah all got eaten. Sidebar: I forgot why a man and puppet got eaten by a whale in the first place. Or was Pinocchio (see that looks like Pin-Oh-Chee-Oh, I'm not sure it's right.) a real boy then. Please answer in the comments someone. Anyway, oh I almost forgot what I was talking about, I had to read the prior thing. Oh, yes. I'll get eaten by my hypothetical whale, live through a new adventure, get spiten up, then evolve to a mermaid and live there. Then I'll remember that I was in a boat, de-evolve from mermaid to human, get in my boat and drive again. That is much better than my losing train of thought because it's more realistic. In a sense. Oh get off, you know what I mean. But that would be SOOO much longer than "I lost my train of thought" it'd be "Oh dear me, sorry I fell out of my hypothetical boat into my oceans of thought, got swallowed by my hypothetical whale, met Pinocchio, then oh heavens, got spit up like yesterdays oatmeal, decided to evolve into a mermaid, then remembered to come to the surface and I got in my boat again, I'm sorry can you tell me what I have forgotten to say?" I might wake up in Bedlam. For those who don't know that, it's crazy town, funny farm etc. Oh my god what is wrong with me? I think I am the poster child for ADD right now. My God it just kept coming out. what was I even talking about before. Blogs' blog, got it. Sorry. Just read that page when it comes up and it'll be about random stuff. Now excuse me so I can go take some NyQuill and a Ritalin and go to sleep.

Hello 2011!

Alright, this will be a short blog considering that I'm at school as an aide right now and they need stuff run every other five minutes. Well, sometimes its more but today is a long day and I'm needed more often (which is good otherwise I'm bored and talking to a computer) (such as this). ANYWAY, my parental and sister(al) units are complaining that my blogs are too, well, complaining. They think I look far too dark at the world and I need a little cheery cherry happy pappy crap. So, without further ado, I'll be happy more often. (not all the time but this is just to sedate their whining)
Don't worry, I won't be talking about kitties and puppies and rainbows. Ugh, no. Wouldn't that be annoying to read? "puppies are adorable because their made with love and rainbow essence! Oh JOY!" yeeeaah, no. I'd rather not.
frankly, I am a happy person, believe it or not. Yes, I dress in black and yes I listen to well, not happy music but that doesn't make me a non happy person. You know what? In this blog I'll strictly use what a blog is made for: just talking. Now, I'm just going to go no a stream of consciousness here, pusha! to the rest. (it's pronounces puh-shah in case you were wondering)
I think high school is over stressful. I mean, I think the teachers collaborate together to make the students life difficult. I wouldn't even surprised if they kept fake mustaches to laugh and twirl like an evil pompous french guy. mwahahaha. It's like my chemistry class SUCKS! after we get away from the completely necessary topic of dipolar molecules, then we move onto Empirical Formula. Honestly, when will I have to know that the empirical formula of a chemical compound is the simplest whole number ratio of atoms of each element present in a compound? If you can think an instance other than being a chemist, let me know. You know what else is annoying. Red squigglies. (red squigglies says the readers in question.) Yes, the readers that I am imagining. (whenever I'm writing I think about the people who would read this and what their immediate thought was. It's not the weirdest thing. When I was little I convinced myself that an invisible person used to follow me around. don't ask. ANYWAY...) The stupid red squiggle that you get under a word when the computer thinks you spelled it wrong. Of course you can't see it know but oh, there are seven no, eight squigglies under words now. Now it's nine because the computer doesn't register the word "squigglies" it recognizes squiggle and squiggly but squigglies? no, that's one step too far in nonsense for this computer. it like "oh, yes the word squiggle is fine. Yes yes, the squiggly, of course I see it. But don't you dare pluralize it dammit!" If you didn't understand, that was the computer talking. Just in case. And for some odd reason I made the computer have a voice in between Patrick Warburton (for those of you who don't know who that is, it's Kronk for Kuzco's New Groove. Ah, little kid movies solve the mysteries of everything, but that's for another blog) and the voice that you would always imagine for God. Deep and booming, you know? Wouldn't it be weird if inanimate things actually talked like that? Like a tiny pencil sharpener was just like, "I AM HUNGRY!" and it's just one of those wimpy hand sharpeners that nobody wants to use next to those gigantic electric ones. Wow, that was a little ADD thought. Anyway, I also think that the automatic Google questions are interesting. I mean is the top hit for writing Why is there say WHY IS THERE A DEAD PAKISTANI ON MY COUCH? I mean, out of the bajillion people who look everything up on Google, the most frequently asked question is about a dead foreigner on a sofa. I didn't realize it was that much of a frequent reoccurance. I'm up to fourteen squigglies now. Fifteen.
Have you ever forgot to spell something really simple that shouldn't require an ounce of thought to begin with? like just now I was like "How do I spell fourteen?" It was like fort-- no. forttee-- no that's not right. maybe I should spell four first. four-- oh yes, okay! fourteen got it! It's like, ah, momentary lapse in memory, or common knowledge. I think the most pathetic was the word: was. when I was around 12, 13 I actually first had a phone and the first rule to me about texting: you have to use abbreviations. Yes, yes I was a pathetic abbreviator. So constantly instead of using the dreading "as" I used "uz" in was. To prove the point that text abbreviations deteriorate the already crumbling English (american version) language, I momentarily forgot how to spell was. It was a low point in my spelling life, I must say.
Wow, that wasn't a quick blog at all. In between running passes and boxes and stapling things, this blog came out to be longer than I though it would be. Hmm, and more ADD than my last blogs. It wasn't super happy, but it wasn't totally, well, like I usually have it. Oh, well. I'll probably finish typing this then think, Oh! I should've said this! But I'll probably have more blogs like this in the 2011 year. So yep. That's all for now and remember: let loose the thoughts that have been building and if you have a dog with squirrel relationship with the world, that's ADD or ADHD and there are things to help with that. :) happy new year 2011.