When Reality Hits You

Hey, I haven't blogged in forever, I know. Busy days of last days of school are wrecking to the social life. The freedoms of summer are to enjoyable to just sit and stay on a computer. The reason I have returned to the blogging world today is one of not so great news. A friend of mine has died today and I wanted to wish him a mermorial onto my blog to prove to the world he won't be forgotten. He was a good friend and fun to hang around with. So here goes.

I say farewell to a life lived too short,
One made of laughter, sarcasm and a snarky retort.
A fate so small, it is a crime,
Of someone who made people laugh, one joke at a time.
Cocky and funny, he knew where his pride stood,
And he'd go on to better things, just as he would.
His departure has left everyone shocked and sad,
As we realize he didn't know his importance to the friends he had.
We celebrate a lost life who has seen all of what life has to give,
But grieve the one that had so much left to live.
I've seen him happy, angry and I've watched him huff and sigh,
And yet, I never thought I'd have to say goodbye.
Now he ascends to the unknown,
Unaware of the mark he has shown.
When we all know that his memory will not fade,
I wish he could see the impact he has made.

We'll miss you, Colter.

Research Papers and Creepers

Hello world, tis me. Obviously. Nevermind. I am in English and I'm supposed to be doing a research paper that is stupid and lame and completely unnecessary. If you want to find a topic don't make high schoolers look for it and research the thing yourself dammit! Sorry, I get quite upset with my English teacher for being a FACE and making us research stupid things. I have to research the death penalty. There is NO answer to it because it is such a controversial subject that nobody can agree on AND we have to only have facts and it's a problem when most of the facts are opinions. It's really dumb and my teacher is a stupid face who makes us do these stupid things. Grrr, sorry. This subjects make me angry because it's so lame. You know what else is dumb? Christopher Columbus. He is a moron that stumbled upon land, displaced the natives who he thought were from INDIA because he thought he was in INDIA and stole their riches. STOP GLORIFYING HIM....sorry. unrelated
As my besty, Ash-stro is writing, old creepers are wierdos. Just creepers. If you want to read old people go to http://ash-stro.blogspot.com. I'm going to talk about creepers. Their beady eyes follow you across the room, inhaling your innocent young scent as you sweep by, wafting it all over their drooling anxious face as they stare at you with ravenous greedy eyes, anticipating your next move, watching...waiting.... until you are alone you are safe from their grubby greasy fingers, ready to grasp you at anytime and slink away into the shadows. Wow. THAT was creepy. Ew, people are crazy. I believe I've established this before. Am I creeper for knowing all of that. I guess I just have a creeper mind without being a creeper itself. Maybe. I don't know. I just find people as crazy and there is no way getting around the fact. People enjoy inhaling and enjoying the fresh scent of perfume on a scarf that belongs to the smallish easily snatchable child from across the room, unexpected to be stalked by the man in plaid, with the pencil thin mustache, clear aviators and crazy sunken-in black eyes that stalk the innocent from across the room in the dark shadows. Then we have the creepers that are openly creepy, the wolf whistling, far too old middle aged combed over fat people that lean in a bit to close when they are looking at something you're looking at. Those who talk to you about scary things that they know way too much about with awkward eye contact that lasts too long to be normal. This, my dear friends, is the average substitute teacher these days. School is the feeding ground for as called creepers and pedophiles, so I warn you, be warned and be afraid, because creepers are..... well, creepy to say the least. That's all for now and remember: Researching is lame and stay out of the shadow, a strange man may be looking for you and NEVER take candy from strangers, even if it is the new Starbursts that are the really really good kind without the gross tropical crap. STRANGER DANGER!!! (Be warned)

LASH!....

My best friend and I had to do an assignment in my History class where we had to have a town that was being raided and change the government type. We chose dictator, and not only that but an evil dictator. It went from there and here is the story.


In a small isolated mountain town, people have rallied behind two girls as their dictators. They soon took advantage and took power as the evil leaders of Brongville! One day they found magical rings and they put it on. They loved the rings. One day they were walking together and both got struck by lightning through the rings and were fused together from the neck with four arms and four legs, two heads and double the evil! From then they became LASH! They had the power to un-fuse and fuse together through the rings.
The town was a little scared when LASH began building a giant castle and taking the towns money for themselves. LASH had power of everything light touched (and more)! They had the power to control ligthning when fused together. When some imbecile would be yelling at them, the lightning would strike him, leaving nothing but his shadow and shoes, thus the reason lightning follows them. People began to hide...but they knew they could not escape LASH. Those who spoke against them would get various degrees of punishment, varying bamboo splints under the fingernails, feeding LArry, the crocodile in their moat, lightning, the dungeon and people becoming servants.
The town was in ruins because everyone fought just to stay hidden, but every town within 100,000 miles was afraid of them. But no one can hide from the Mechanical Hound! Wait, wrong story. I mean the Bounty-Hunting Squirrels, BS for short. The whole town was eventually locked in the castle dungeon for eternity on the crime of treason! Or in Larry's stomach.....mwahahaha. And yet, LASH felt that this wasn't enough power, so they went national! They made an army of clone Larrys. >:D
First, they made their own country to rule from that was located in the middle of the ocean called LASHtopia. There they safely made billions of Larry Clones, all connected to their psychic powers! They sent the Larry's into the world to take over! MWAHAHAHA...*hack hack* HAHA!
They personally went up and knocked on Mr. Squinty Latino Face's door and ate his face off! But when the Larry clones ate his face it tasted so bad that they puked it back up and yelled, "Put that in your history book!" (inside joke.) Only few were spared and LASH began to control the world! The new world...their world... would be know forever as LASHTURN! *DAH DAH DAHN DAAAAHN!*
LASHTURN was the best planet ever! But still... very evil...
But nobody spoke against LASH. Lash was great and powerful and got rid of the weird people and pollution and disease! Lashturn was feared in the glalaxy and Lash couldn't let their reign die so they made fifty thousand sleeping clones of themselves who woke after the last one died.
Lash decided to stay feared so so they had to do something epic!
So they blew up Jupiter!
The Juptitonians were devastated and they knew Lash was very dangerous. So they grouped together with Martians, Daleks, Sontarons and the Nightmare Child, the terrible creature from Gallefrey, to take down LASH. LASH got an inside tip from a double agent Larry. They went to see a doctor and got tons of weapons fused together. Then they joined together with others and it became an intergalactic war! After many bloody years, LASHTURN was destroyed along with all the clones and LASH her-herself. The galaxy was at peace again but nobody ever forgot the story or fear of LASH!

Habitual Lying is.......Easy

You know, the more we lie the better we get good at it. Granted, me and ashstro were great liars to begin with but now we are expert bluffers. Excellent liars can also spot the lies. Takes one to know one, you know? The lies we spin build and build and yet, despite popular belief, more often than not we don't get caught. If it's something like, "Honey have you been cheating on me?" "No, or course not Karen." "My name's SUSAN!" sort of thing, then you're an idiot and not a very good liar. But when the girl you hate comes up to you and tells you "OMG, you're my best friend!" and you say "OMG, your mine too!" That right there is a lie among the idiots. Okay, first of all I should break it down to my categories. "Bad liar," "Lies among the Idiots," "Bad lies" and "Good lies." A good lie starts with something that is true. If you have a basic idea of something that really happened and just make up believable details pertaining to it, then you won't get caught. Bad liar is a good lie that is given by a crappy liar. They twitch, the glance around, they fidget, they make no eye contact, and they hesitate between questions. If you want to lie right, get your story down first then give the lie, keep your face passive and sincere, and make eye contact, but not too much that gives you away. Now, the Lies among the Idiots, that is the ones we deal with everyday. The people who are "close" to you but you really hate are the idiots and you are a good liar. You say the right things to the right people and keep the juicy hate filled disgust tipped gossip from the wrong people. These people have it in their minds that you have no reason to lie to them, therefore they take in the lie and accept it. Unless you are a skeptic of everything, such as mwa. I love some of my friends to death but their lies are so painfully obvious it is almost sad. I lie to my parents and teachers for my own gain and call me a sinner and a wrongdoer, but I don't give a, excuse my french, damn. The world runs on lies and the people won't stop lying. It's become less of a sin and more of a fact of life. Mine are nothing more than just white lies that amounts to nothing except for a few moments of personal gain, nothing more. So remember: If you're going to lie, do it right and telling the police something they can know for a fact isn't the best move, i.e. "I didn't rob a bank!" You had no mask and there are security cameras. Good luck in the world, bud.

Talking To Yourself and Being "Drunk!"

Today in my blog, I am, of course, not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Right now, I'm supposed to be looking up stuff about the death penalty and yadda yadda but instead I'm blogging. Of course. What I will start with and probably forget about half way through the blog is that it annoys me when people talk to themselves. Sometimes it's normal like when people usually are looking for something they mutter nonsense but when you have entire conversations and telling yourself things it's SO annoying. When I'm in aide, there's this other guy in the Futures Room usually. well, he is annoying to share a room with because all he does is play games, play his music far too loud, make the computer say things and freaking talking to himself. It's like today he was like, "blah blah blah, that's all done. Okay, now I'm going to go to the bathroom cause I really have to g." It's like, that's great guy, I totally wanted to know that. Then if I actually say something to him, he would be like "Oh, I was talking to myself." Then DON"T it just confuses everyone around you. Different thing: I am a sloppy drunk. Was I really drunk? No, I wasn't. I was wearing drunk glasses and had to run through an obstacle course. I'm pretty sure I was on the outside of the course, I hit a ton of cones and I fell twice. It failed. My sisters boyfriend bounced off of the wall and plowed into another guy and t'was.... HILARIOUS. It also kinda looked liked it hurt, but hey, that's more amusing than comics. It's would also suck to be in Europe on Fourth of July. Walk around and be like, "Hey guys! Today my country became independent and your country SUCKED!" haha to you! You'd probably get shot, or whatever they do over there. It's actually probably different, or the same. Either or, never mind. You know what I want to do? I want to dress up in a mining outfit, hide in the sewer, come up out of the sewer grate, look around for a few minutes then go back down. I think that would confuse people. my point exactly! Okay, I'm done! Next blog I will have an interesting story for you about me and my besty becoming a fused together dictator and taking over lands it'll be epic and remember: don't talk to yourself, it's annoying, and the next time somebody asks you, "Who are you talking to?" reply, my invisible rhino named Larry, then walk away.

Just Stop....Please.

I have changed the entirety of the blog. Why? BECAUSE I CAN! I think mi madre es getting angry with my response "because I can" it's a valid response and has no right to be shoved aside like it's an idiotic answer cause it's not. Why else would I do something totally and completely unrelated, unnecessary and possible detrimental to myself and or others other than the fact that I could? I don't find that that isn't a valid response. "Why did you just jump on the couch and jump through the window then run down the hill like a possessed lawn mower?" "Because I can..." see? did you see that? Simple, eloquent and just enough mystery to leave them thinking while you slink away in the shadows. Wait, what? Never mind, that's irrelevant. Why would you---? Never mind. That just sort of came from my screaming recessed subconscious and into my fingers. Heck, I was picturing that, but not in words. Then I was just thinking about slinking away soundlessly into the shadows and somebody being like, "Look over there!" Then as the opposing person looks the first person just backs up nonchalantly into the shadows right before the other guy and the other guy is like, "What are you doing?" Then the person in the shadows is like, "Hit and miss, never mind, let's go get pizza" and they walk away......well, that was long and rather monologue..ish. I do that too much. I come up with a scenerio and monologue the ENTIRE thing and about a fourth of the way through people stop listening but even though I notice, I keep on going. Because that's just an embarrassing situation because one guy starts monologuing and the others stop listening and when the first guy stops then the other people feel the need to laugh to break the awkward silence that fills in the gap of the "you weren't really listening"' stare, as put on by the monologuer. Wow, that was another one. Never mind, and remember, just cause nobody's paying attention it doesn't mean that you can't entertain yourself and there is a line where the joke needs to stop because it's being stretched out FAR too much. (Ashstro and I dance and skip on that line...incessantly... :D)

ummm.... just read it.

This is the story that I mentioned in my prior blog. Enjoy.
This is a story starting with a young boy named Hans Jomamma. Everyone just called him Jomamma. Jomamma is currently a Nazi. He frequently wore, hem hem, you know what constricting lederhosen decorated with sheep, kangaroos and swastikas. He is Dr. Mengele's prodige! But he was a bit like a cannibal because he would eat the eyes and left earlobes of the deceased, he left the body for the alive ones cause it's more fresh.
He didn't tell anyone about this secret because he was ashamed. It was a habit that drove him to eating his parents and friends. He did weird things with peoples fingernails...he kept all of them in a jar.
Then, in the middle of the night, he would lock his door, pull out his jar and pour all of the fingernails all over himself. He rolled in this for hours in happy oblivion, getting a sick satisfaction with the pieces of the people he killed. One night, he forgot to lock his door and Dr. Mengele walked into the scene of Jomamma rolling in small sharp things. Revealed as fingernails at close examination, Dr. Mengele was...relieved.
"I thought I was the only one!" he exclaimed in excitement. He took his jar of toenails out of his bag and starting pouring them everywhere and dancing in them. Both Hans and Mengele were dancing when Smitler Hadolf, Hitlers retarded cousin, walked in.
He wasn't amused. He sent both men into the concentration camps for 3 days as punishment. Without anyones prying eyes, Smilter bean to consume the toenails on the floor.
Mengele and Jomamma came up with a master plan to keep them sane enough. So they began offing the weak people in the camp. They had no jars so they kept the nails under their beds. One day a huge man came in from a tip that they were hiding something. He tore apart their whole barrack. Last he tore up the blankets and found the thousands of nails. He puked. he grabbed both Mengele and Jomamma and was taking them to either the gas chamber or the incinerator! Jomamma wasn't worried because the chamber guards would recognize Mengele and him. He was sweating bullets because the mans large meaty hand was sitting on his shoulder, tempting him like a large juicy steak. He had the almost undeniable urge to eat the mans had in one chomp.
He couldn't take it anymore! He turned fast and chomped down on the mans hand before the man could even flinch. Mengele shrieked with laughter and satisfaction and attacked the man with Jomamma. He bit a large portion of the mans thick neck.
They began to eat him alive! Some other prisoners tentatively walked up wanting a bite but Mengele and Jomamma growled viscously at them so they stayed back.
The man was gone in the matter of minutes. This began a killing spree. Jomamma and Mengele began to hide on the roofs of the barracks and pounced on helpless prey. This gave the prisoners ideas.
The prisoners whom got these ideas dug holes under barracks and when unsuspecting prey would walk up the prisoners would grab their ankles and drag them into the death pit.
Men ate men, men ate women, women ate children, children ate children, children ate babies. It was mass chaos of cannibalism. To stop the prisoners eating each other and them, the guards ate them and got mad-human disease. The guards, being able to leave, headed toward the closest town.
Thus beginning the reign......of Nazi zombies.
THE END....?
Yeah, I'll just let that soak in....