LASH!....

My best friend and I had to do an assignment in my History class where we had to have a town that was being raided and change the government type. We chose dictator, and not only that but an evil dictator. It went from there and here is the story.


In a small isolated mountain town, people have rallied behind two girls as their dictators. They soon took advantage and took power as the evil leaders of Brongville! One day they found magical rings and they put it on. They loved the rings. One day they were walking together and both got struck by lightning through the rings and were fused together from the neck with four arms and four legs, two heads and double the evil! From then they became LASH! They had the power to un-fuse and fuse together through the rings.
The town was a little scared when LASH began building a giant castle and taking the towns money for themselves. LASH had power of everything light touched (and more)! They had the power to control ligthning when fused together. When some imbecile would be yelling at them, the lightning would strike him, leaving nothing but his shadow and shoes, thus the reason lightning follows them. People began to hide...but they knew they could not escape LASH. Those who spoke against them would get various degrees of punishment, varying bamboo splints under the fingernails, feeding LArry, the crocodile in their moat, lightning, the dungeon and people becoming servants.
The town was in ruins because everyone fought just to stay hidden, but every town within 100,000 miles was afraid of them. But no one can hide from the Mechanical Hound! Wait, wrong story. I mean the Bounty-Hunting Squirrels, BS for short. The whole town was eventually locked in the castle dungeon for eternity on the crime of treason! Or in Larry's stomach.....mwahahaha. And yet, LASH felt that this wasn't enough power, so they went national! They made an army of clone Larrys. >:D
First, they made their own country to rule from that was located in the middle of the ocean called LASHtopia. There they safely made billions of Larry Clones, all connected to their psychic powers! They sent the Larry's into the world to take over! MWAHAHAHA...*hack hack* HAHA!
They personally went up and knocked on Mr. Squinty Latino Face's door and ate his face off! But when the Larry clones ate his face it tasted so bad that they puked it back up and yelled, "Put that in your history book!" (inside joke.) Only few were spared and LASH began to control the world! The new world...their world... would be know forever as LASHTURN! *DAH DAH DAHN DAAAAHN!*
LASHTURN was the best planet ever! But still... very evil...
But nobody spoke against LASH. Lash was great and powerful and got rid of the weird people and pollution and disease! Lashturn was feared in the glalaxy and Lash couldn't let their reign die so they made fifty thousand sleeping clones of themselves who woke after the last one died.
Lash decided to stay feared so so they had to do something epic!
So they blew up Jupiter!
The Juptitonians were devastated and they knew Lash was very dangerous. So they grouped together with Martians, Daleks, Sontarons and the Nightmare Child, the terrible creature from Gallefrey, to take down LASH. LASH got an inside tip from a double agent Larry. They went to see a doctor and got tons of weapons fused together. Then they joined together with others and it became an intergalactic war! After many bloody years, LASHTURN was destroyed along with all the clones and LASH her-herself. The galaxy was at peace again but nobody ever forgot the story or fear of LASH!

Habitual Lying is.......Easy

You know, the more we lie the better we get good at it. Granted, me and ashstro were great liars to begin with but now we are expert bluffers. Excellent liars can also spot the lies. Takes one to know one, you know? The lies we spin build and build and yet, despite popular belief, more often than not we don't get caught. If it's something like, "Honey have you been cheating on me?" "No, or course not Karen." "My name's SUSAN!" sort of thing, then you're an idiot and not a very good liar. But when the girl you hate comes up to you and tells you "OMG, you're my best friend!" and you say "OMG, your mine too!" That right there is a lie among the idiots. Okay, first of all I should break it down to my categories. "Bad liar," "Lies among the Idiots," "Bad lies" and "Good lies." A good lie starts with something that is true. If you have a basic idea of something that really happened and just make up believable details pertaining to it, then you won't get caught. Bad liar is a good lie that is given by a crappy liar. They twitch, the glance around, they fidget, they make no eye contact, and they hesitate between questions. If you want to lie right, get your story down first then give the lie, keep your face passive and sincere, and make eye contact, but not too much that gives you away. Now, the Lies among the Idiots, that is the ones we deal with everyday. The people who are "close" to you but you really hate are the idiots and you are a good liar. You say the right things to the right people and keep the juicy hate filled disgust tipped gossip from the wrong people. These people have it in their minds that you have no reason to lie to them, therefore they take in the lie and accept it. Unless you are a skeptic of everything, such as mwa. I love some of my friends to death but their lies are so painfully obvious it is almost sad. I lie to my parents and teachers for my own gain and call me a sinner and a wrongdoer, but I don't give a, excuse my french, damn. The world runs on lies and the people won't stop lying. It's become less of a sin and more of a fact of life. Mine are nothing more than just white lies that amounts to nothing except for a few moments of personal gain, nothing more. So remember: If you're going to lie, do it right and telling the police something they can know for a fact isn't the best move, i.e. "I didn't rob a bank!" You had no mask and there are security cameras. Good luck in the world, bud.

Talking To Yourself and Being "Drunk!"

Today in my blog, I am, of course, not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Right now, I'm supposed to be looking up stuff about the death penalty and yadda yadda but instead I'm blogging. Of course. What I will start with and probably forget about half way through the blog is that it annoys me when people talk to themselves. Sometimes it's normal like when people usually are looking for something they mutter nonsense but when you have entire conversations and telling yourself things it's SO annoying. When I'm in aide, there's this other guy in the Futures Room usually. well, he is annoying to share a room with because all he does is play games, play his music far too loud, make the computer say things and freaking talking to himself. It's like today he was like, "blah blah blah, that's all done. Okay, now I'm going to go to the bathroom cause I really have to g." It's like, that's great guy, I totally wanted to know that. Then if I actually say something to him, he would be like "Oh, I was talking to myself." Then DON"T it just confuses everyone around you. Different thing: I am a sloppy drunk. Was I really drunk? No, I wasn't. I was wearing drunk glasses and had to run through an obstacle course. I'm pretty sure I was on the outside of the course, I hit a ton of cones and I fell twice. It failed. My sisters boyfriend bounced off of the wall and plowed into another guy and t'was.... HILARIOUS. It also kinda looked liked it hurt, but hey, that's more amusing than comics. It's would also suck to be in Europe on Fourth of July. Walk around and be like, "Hey guys! Today my country became independent and your country SUCKED!" haha to you! You'd probably get shot, or whatever they do over there. It's actually probably different, or the same. Either or, never mind. You know what I want to do? I want to dress up in a mining outfit, hide in the sewer, come up out of the sewer grate, look around for a few minutes then go back down. I think that would confuse people. my point exactly! Okay, I'm done! Next blog I will have an interesting story for you about me and my besty becoming a fused together dictator and taking over lands it'll be epic and remember: don't talk to yourself, it's annoying, and the next time somebody asks you, "Who are you talking to?" reply, my invisible rhino named Larry, then walk away.

Just Stop....Please.

I have changed the entirety of the blog. Why? BECAUSE I CAN! I think mi madre es getting angry with my response "because I can" it's a valid response and has no right to be shoved aside like it's an idiotic answer cause it's not. Why else would I do something totally and completely unrelated, unnecessary and possible detrimental to myself and or others other than the fact that I could? I don't find that that isn't a valid response. "Why did you just jump on the couch and jump through the window then run down the hill like a possessed lawn mower?" "Because I can..." see? did you see that? Simple, eloquent and just enough mystery to leave them thinking while you slink away in the shadows. Wait, what? Never mind, that's irrelevant. Why would you---? Never mind. That just sort of came from my screaming recessed subconscious and into my fingers. Heck, I was picturing that, but not in words. Then I was just thinking about slinking away soundlessly into the shadows and somebody being like, "Look over there!" Then as the opposing person looks the first person just backs up nonchalantly into the shadows right before the other guy and the other guy is like, "What are you doing?" Then the person in the shadows is like, "Hit and miss, never mind, let's go get pizza" and they walk away......well, that was long and rather monologue..ish. I do that too much. I come up with a scenerio and monologue the ENTIRE thing and about a fourth of the way through people stop listening but even though I notice, I keep on going. Because that's just an embarrassing situation because one guy starts monologuing and the others stop listening and when the first guy stops then the other people feel the need to laugh to break the awkward silence that fills in the gap of the "you weren't really listening"' stare, as put on by the monologuer. Wow, that was another one. Never mind, and remember, just cause nobody's paying attention it doesn't mean that you can't entertain yourself and there is a line where the joke needs to stop because it's being stretched out FAR too much. (Ashstro and I dance and skip on that line...incessantly... :D)

ummm.... just read it.

This is the story that I mentioned in my prior blog. Enjoy.
This is a story starting with a young boy named Hans Jomamma. Everyone just called him Jomamma. Jomamma is currently a Nazi. He frequently wore, hem hem, you know what constricting lederhosen decorated with sheep, kangaroos and swastikas. He is Dr. Mengele's prodige! But he was a bit like a cannibal because he would eat the eyes and left earlobes of the deceased, he left the body for the alive ones cause it's more fresh.
He didn't tell anyone about this secret because he was ashamed. It was a habit that drove him to eating his parents and friends. He did weird things with peoples fingernails...he kept all of them in a jar.
Then, in the middle of the night, he would lock his door, pull out his jar and pour all of the fingernails all over himself. He rolled in this for hours in happy oblivion, getting a sick satisfaction with the pieces of the people he killed. One night, he forgot to lock his door and Dr. Mengele walked into the scene of Jomamma rolling in small sharp things. Revealed as fingernails at close examination, Dr. Mengele was...relieved.
"I thought I was the only one!" he exclaimed in excitement. He took his jar of toenails out of his bag and starting pouring them everywhere and dancing in them. Both Hans and Mengele were dancing when Smitler Hadolf, Hitlers retarded cousin, walked in.
He wasn't amused. He sent both men into the concentration camps for 3 days as punishment. Without anyones prying eyes, Smilter bean to consume the toenails on the floor.
Mengele and Jomamma came up with a master plan to keep them sane enough. So they began offing the weak people in the camp. They had no jars so they kept the nails under their beds. One day a huge man came in from a tip that they were hiding something. He tore apart their whole barrack. Last he tore up the blankets and found the thousands of nails. He puked. he grabbed both Mengele and Jomamma and was taking them to either the gas chamber or the incinerator! Jomamma wasn't worried because the chamber guards would recognize Mengele and him. He was sweating bullets because the mans large meaty hand was sitting on his shoulder, tempting him like a large juicy steak. He had the almost undeniable urge to eat the mans had in one chomp.
He couldn't take it anymore! He turned fast and chomped down on the mans hand before the man could even flinch. Mengele shrieked with laughter and satisfaction and attacked the man with Jomamma. He bit a large portion of the mans thick neck.
They began to eat him alive! Some other prisoners tentatively walked up wanting a bite but Mengele and Jomamma growled viscously at them so they stayed back.
The man was gone in the matter of minutes. This began a killing spree. Jomamma and Mengele began to hide on the roofs of the barracks and pounced on helpless prey. This gave the prisoners ideas.
The prisoners whom got these ideas dug holes under barracks and when unsuspecting prey would walk up the prisoners would grab their ankles and drag them into the death pit.
Men ate men, men ate women, women ate children, children ate children, children ate babies. It was mass chaos of cannibalism. To stop the prisoners eating each other and them, the guards ate them and got mad-human disease. The guards, being able to leave, headed toward the closest town.
Thus beginning the reign......of Nazi zombies.
THE END....?
Yeah, I'll just let that soak in....

This Started with Nothing and Ended with Zombies..?

I cannot think of anything to talk about. Usually, when I go into typing, I have multiple ideas running through my head, and when I type I get something awesome--r to talk about. But now I am just typing the first sentences that pop into my head. You know, it's really weird if you think about it. The whole just popping into my head thing. We can see pictures without our eyes, we can hear voices, but not use our ears and we can talk without saying anything. It's all just noise inside our head. Like right now, and this may sound a bit odd, but I see Donnie Darko, (Jake Gyllenhaal) right now but I'm intently staring at my computer screen as I "speak." Then before I type the word, naturally I have to think about it so I hear the sentences (in a slow deep voice) in my head before I type it. It's really strange because I always think things at people to see if they can hear it. I mean, yes that sounds ridiculous but still, it's WEIRD is it not? I'm like "turn around, turn around. Hey you! turn around..." and if they do it's like coincidence? ... maybe, okay fine, more than likely.... or was it? Sorry, I sort of went in a weird direction there. Talk about weird directions, me and ash-stro (http://ash-stro.blogspot.com) and we were writing what seemed like an innocent story about a boy, then he turned into a Nazi who was Dr. Mengele's prodigee had a weird obsession with fingernails, then it went psycho because they began to eat people and then everyone was eating everyone and they all got mad cow disease which began the reign of Nazi Zombies. It went weird. Then I drew a Nazi Zombie, inspired by the story and I figured out that I'm not too shabby at drawing zombies because my friend asked me to draw him a zombie spiderman. It's pretty BA. Now I'm going to draw him a zombie hulk. (Obsession with super heros and the Justice League? Quite so.. he was wearing a superman shirt and has a Green Lantern obsession.) Sorry, now I'm just blabbing about things that don't matter AT ALL! That's all for now I guess and remember, drawing zombies is actually quite entertaining and if you start eating people, you'll probably not turn into a zombie....maybe. I dunno, maybe if you eat enough people, I guess it depends. Nobody's tried it yet so you never know....yet.

Oops, maybe we should've thought it out better...

I think teachers get some sick satisfaction out of pointing EVERYTHING done wrong on one student. Who cares that they got an answer wrong, who cares that they cheated on a test? It's not like they have never fell to the urge to just take that slight peek over at the answers. Because they needed the answers? Maybe. Because they wanted to check an unsure problem? Probably. Because it was right there, the forbidden never to do thing that has always tainted the classrooms of high schools all throughout history? Could happen. In any case that urge to see what is forbidden to see, the answers as provided by your peers. It's whether you act on that impulse or not makes it so. So what? There are tons of people who wish to pass a class that they don't wish to learn. And so what that they don't want to learn it? A useless class full of teenagers who will never use the material again are what we would call dead energy, being that they aren't willing to learn because they aren't wanting to learn. Granted, it would be easier to just learn the damn subject rather than cheat to pass, but nevertheless, can anything less be expected, honestly? The answer is no, probably not. Back to the original argument, teachers are full of hypocrisy. As well as misunderstanding and under-minding us students. Is it obvious that throughout the course of a lessons that students aren't listening and/or paying attention. Absolutely. It shows in the work. Is it obvious that they crammed it all in their brains the night before the test and not only learned it for not one but four people? You can bet on it. So, how can they think of us as dead energized idiots who learned a whole 3 weeks of lessons in one night AND found a way to get it across to other people, ingeniously I must say, (One copied the test inconspicuously, passed the info to the next person and one wrote the work and answers two at a time on a notecard and nonchalantly passed it to the other table, it was pretty good,) not only not being seen but in desperate attempt not to get caught at it? Of course we'll all get caught sooner or later what with similar tests and the same wrong answers, but still, you have to appreciate the effort. It doesn't reflect on you as a person. That isn't all who you are. That is a bunch of crap. All it reflects is a bunch of goofing off teenagers in desperate attempt to salvage a score that will let them pass the class. Sure, Mr. Face, we might not care about one test score later in life, but we do care about the grade in the class. Believe it or not, that grade may or may not determine whether we graduate or not. So who cares if we cheated on a test for something that we'll never use or care to remember. Just be happy that we made a sorry but determined attempt to try, even if it wasn't honest. I was planning on teaching them on how to do it afterwards anyway Mr. You're Not Reading This But I'm Still Talking To You In A Hypothetical Way. Sorry that we disappointed you in not "achieving a moral integrity," but this is the best you can get from stressed out teens in a stressed out school from stressed filled tons of schoolwork. Believe it or not, but we may have a life outside of school that we want to live. If you're like Ms. GoodyTwoShoes that I know, you can dedicate your ENTIRE life to school, but before I have to surrender my soul to work, I'd like to live first. I think high school may be the most important four years of your life, but I think it's more experience and less the knowledge that nobody will remember that makes the impact. That's all for now and remember, sooner or later someone's going to catch you cheating and if your do cheat, fudge the answers a little to make it harder to spot.